The Quintessential Barbarian
The Quintessential Barbarian cover
| Author | Robert Schwalb |
| Series | Quintessential Series |
| Publisher | Mongoose Publishing |
| Publish date | 2003 |
| Pages | 128 |
| ISBN | 1-903980-92-5 |
| OGL Section 15 | qbbn |
The material below is open game content
Hit the Priest
Missionaries are unwelcome in societies who have a firm and fixed religious system built around violent and warlike gods. Sometimes the community tolerates these priests. Barbarians enjoy the foreigner's eccentric behaviour, as long as he is well behaved and never tries to compel any people in the village to follow his faith. Despite these restrictions, some priests, particularly influential and charismatic, are able to get away with open witnessing. Barbarians will, albeit rarely, tolerate this behaviour. Yet, eventually, the poor priest will offend the leaders of the clan and thus the priest's life becomes the chieftain's to do with as he pleases. When this occurs, the community ties the priest to a pole in the centre of a field. The priest is always in his full religious vestments. Once there, the chieftain allows the entirety of the barbarian young warriors to test their axe throwing abilities.
Contestants: The number of contestants is nearly limitless as any who wishes to throw the axe is welcome.
Locale: Contestants always play Hit the Priest out of doors as the weather adds an interesting element to the game. Furthermore, if lighting happens to strike the pole to which the priest is tied (5% chance per hour in a severe thunderstorm) the barbarians believe that the priest has even offended the gods.
Objective: All contestants throw axes at the priest to kill him. The closest axe to the centre wins.
Severity: This sport has no severity to the contestants. It is always lethal to the priest.
Intervals: One barbarian may throw once per round.
Prize: The prize is the priest's belongings.
Special Rules: Barbarians must always stand at least four range increments away from the victim. There they make their attack rolls against the victim's AC. The priest is considered s helpless target and thus all attackers receive a +4 circumstance bonus to attack rolls. In addition, the priest has an effective Dexterity of 0 thus reducing his AC by -5.
Simply hitting the priest is no fun at all. Instead, the true level of skill arises from the where the thrower hits the priest. The damage inflicted determines the exact location of the hit. Determine the percentage of damage against the priest's remaining hit points. Once the percentage is calculated, consult the following table. There, cross-reference the percentage of damage that you inflicted to the location. Throwers may not strike limbs more times than their listed capacity. If san addition hit is scored, move one-step higher. If you cannot move any higher, then choose a location. If no locations remain and the priest still lives, most barbarians will let the cleric depart (naked of course).
Hit locations
| Percentage of total hit points lost | Location | Max Hits |
|---|---|---|
| 01-20% | Random Limb | 2 |
| 21-50% | Abdomen | 3 |
| 51-60% | Groin | 1 |
| 61-80% | Chest | 4 |
| 81-100% | Head | 2 |
For example, a gathering of young barbarians have captured a vile and womanising priest and tied to him to a pole. The priest has 18 hit points and an effective AC of 5. The first strapping young lad steps up and throws his axe, rolling an 18, adding +4 for Dex and Base Attack Bonus (BAB), but subtracting 8 due to range. His total roll is 16, which is enough to hit. He rolls damage, which results in a 10. 10 points of damage is equal to about 50% of the priest's hit points, so he strikes the cleric in the groin, much to the pleasure and cheers of those watching.
Priests are not the only victims in this perverse sport. Unruly slaves, wizards, unfaithful spouses, thieves and just about anyone else seen as weak or deserving can be a target at the chieftain's discretion. In addition, thrown axes are not always the weapons used. Rocks, hammers, daggers and similar weapons are all suitable for this highly entertaining game of weapon prowess.
Editing ©2008 Alex Schröder
